Candy hearts

It's a fresh start, a new year, a time to repent of bad habits and get back on track and all that. Several of my resolutions involve healthy eating, and I would say that we have been doing quite splendidly lately.  Quinoa, healthy soups, protein shakes, lots of fruits and veggies (including brussel sprouts, which I'm embarrassed to admit we had never cooked before), whole grain breads, and a bag of Brach's conversation hearts.

What?  Something isn't right in the previous paragraph.  How do Brach's sugary candy hearts fit into this new- year-healthy-eating-plan?  Well, they don't, but I've been eating an awful lot of them anyway.

Because I seriously can't help myself. I have no self-control when this particular candy is involved. Right after Christmas when the Valentine's candy is set up in the grocery stores, I purposely don't even walk over to the aisle with the candy for as long as possible. I can usually make it until the end of January before I succumb.  Because I know that once I break into my first bag of the season, it's all over.

They call to me.  I eat just a few and then I crave just one more, and then another, and another, and before you know it I have eaten almost an entire bag.

All except for the green ones.  I hate them, so I leave them in the bag.  Yellow is the best. Followed by peach, and then pink. White and purple are just fine too.

And, let's be clear:  I am not the least bit tempted by Necco's Sweethearts.

My own sweetheart Dan bought me a box of these last week.  Because it was such a thoughtful gesture, I ate them. Well, I tried. But they were disgusting. The flavors were not right.   So I slipped them surreptitiously into the garbage can in the laundry room, so as not to make him feel bad.

Unless I am driving while eating hearts (which is often), I like to read the phrase on the heart before popping it in my mouth. There are some old standbys, "Be True," "Luv Me," ""Love You," "Hello," "Be mine," etc.  And now there are a whole slew of new conversation starters: "U Go Girl," "Text Me," "UR mine," "LOL," "Tweet Me," "You Rock," etc.  You can trace the evolution of popular culture through the phrases on the conversation hearts over the decades. It's really very educational in a sociological research sort of way. You should try it sometime.

I even have a secret for finding the freshest, best conversation hearts. I don't like the boxes - they let it too much air so the hearts are hard and chalky.  I like the bags of regular size (not jumbo) hearts, and I have found through intensive research that the bags that seem "vacuum packed" with no air inside have the softest, most delectable hearts.

By the time Valentine's Day rolls around I am desperate for my temptation to be off the shelves for another year. (But I have been known to comb the discount bins the day after Valentine's to see if just one more bag is remaining.  Pathetic.)

It's a good thing that I have never been tempted to try alcohol or drugs. Because apparently my self control with addictive substances is minimal.  I guess sugar is my substitute drug. And a very good one, too.

I can't explain why I like this candy, but I always have.  I am entirely aware that this non-food has no redeeming value and is completely bad for me in every way. But it doesn't stop me. And every time I pop a squishy yellow Brach's conversation heart into my mouth, I feel exactly like what the heart says in tiny red letters . . . "Awesome."