Sunday morning thoughts

During the Sacrament I often keep the hymnbook open to read the words of hymns and center my thoughts where they should be. Last Sunday I randomly turned to a hymn (#231). I know I have never heard or read before. The words resonated deeply with me.

Father, cheer our souls tonight;

Lift our burdens, make them light.

Let thine all-pervading love

Shine upon us from above.

Calm the surges of the soul;

Bid the dark waves backward roll.

Let us all thy mercies feel

Thru the pow'r thou dost reveal.

Bless our loved ones far away;

Grant them health and peace, we pray.

In their hearts let holy light

Beam to guide their steps aright.

Let implicit faith and trust

Help us know thy ways are just.

May thine ever-tender love

Lead our hearts to thee above.

I really love the messages of this hymn.  This is what I get out of it:

• The Savior's power can lift our burdens, so that they are light and we can barely feel them. 
• Our souls naturally surge with strong emotions, and the Lord's tender mercies can calm us and turn back the darkness.  
• My heart is continually thinking about those I love who are far away, and I pray for their health, happiness, and progression.
• We need to trust the Lord instead of rely on our own strength or reasoning. His ways are just and love is tender and will lead us along.

Valentine's Day 2016

I attended Joseph's Valentine's party, which was his LAST class party of elementary school and, since he is my youngest, the last class party I will be involved with. That was a strange moment, and kind of sad!  But it was so fun to see these cute kids.

 This is also the last year that we will need to assist a kid with making a Valentine's box, which doesn't make me as sad. Joseph's box was his own creative design and reflects his current interests! His classmates had to try to "shoot" their Valentine through the basket into the box.

Two days later was the actual Valentine's Day, which fell on Sunday this year. We had thin pancakes for breakfast, because both Joseph and Aubrey like them.  Aubrey was our chef.

For church we had a regional broadcast/stake conference at the stake center. We actually arrived in time to sit on the soft seats in the chapel which has NEVER happened. We were highly motivated by the desire to arrive in time to not have to part in the muddy overflow parking and hike in through ankle deep slime. It has been very rainy lately. The meeting itself was really great. I felt edified and inspired.

I received this Valentine from my cute boy.

That evening we held our yearly Valentine's Dinner. For the first time in this house we didn't eat it in the dining room, as it looks like this:

Everything from my kitchen cabinets has been moved into the dining room while the cabinets are being painted. It's been an adventure! More to come on that later.

First, pictures of our dinner, in which everything was pink, red, or heart-shaped. And obviously we emphasized the sugar food group.

We didn't forget our favorite college students. A few weeks before Valentine's Day I sent them some packages with goodies inside to eat and to decorate their homes.

Bailey sent me these pictures of the ways she used the contents of the package to decorate her apartment (I believe that they wrote Harry Potter pickup lines on the foam hearts) and the Valentine's dinner she did with her roommates.

Growing in a poor spot of ground

Sometime last year I came upon something in my scripture study which was a personal answer to my prayers. I want to document my thoughts about it.

Jacob 5 in the Book of Mormon is what we call the "Parable of the Olive Tree." It has never been my favorite chapter of scripture. It's long and repetitive and there's a lot of grafting going on, which isn't something I can really relate to. But one day I read verses 21-22 with new eyes:

And it came to pass that the servant said unto his master: How comest thou hither to plant this tree, or this branch of the tree? For behold, it was the poorest spot in all the land of thy vineyard.

 And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him: Counsel me not: I knew that it was a poor spot of ground; wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit.

Suddenly, the vineyard and the servant vanished and I realized that these scriptures were a conversation I was having with God.

I said: "Why have you given my loved ones these great challenges? It's not fair and it's really hard and it feels like too much for them to handle. I know that You can make heal them and make these hard things go away. Will you do it?"

 And the Lord said: "Counsel me not. I knew that this was going to be a challenge. Did you think I didn't know? I "planted" them. I was fully aware of the hard things which they would deal with. But I want you to remember that I am watching over them with loving attention and I have been nourishing them for many years and will continue to do so as long as they turn to me. And if you really look you will see that there are great "fruits" which have been harvested.  There are things they could not have learned without the experience of growing in this poor ground. Have faith in the Lord of the vineyard."

I hope it's not sacrilegious to document my conversation with the Lord in this way. This was a very real answer to my prayers and still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. I am grateful for the Lord's nourishment as we contend with our poor spots of ground. 

January thoughts

It has happened. I actually caught up on all the "events" of our life on the blog and so now I have the luxury of writing some of my thoughts instead.

I can remember quite a few years when I disliked January. Especially in areas where it snows a lot, January is often tedious. I can recall snow stained brown from road grime, mind numbing cold and bad roads, and in Utah there was often polluted air from the inversion. Many years January felt like punishment after the warm glow of December drifted away.

I feel differently about this January. This last month I felt invigorated. I felt full of energy and unburdened. I felt hopeful, optimistic, and peaceful. All those things were in contrast to how December felt. December had so many great moments, including some wonderful family time during the holidays. But there were some particular situations which felt suffocating, hopeless, and burdensome through the myopic vision I develop while going through hard things. Couple that with a month full of nonstop events and important Christmas rituals and traditions which require a lot of work on my part, and I was really exhausted by the end of the month. A few days of emotionally and physically resting after Christmas, and a turn for the better in some of the challenges, and January dawned with new light and clarity.

Once I felt my energy return I experienced a severe case of the January de-cluttering and organizing I do every year. I have unburdened myself of hundreds of things in the last few weeks. Books, toys, mementos, clutter, extra kitchen stuff.  I've been giving away things to friends almost every day, selling some things on ebay, and giving the rest to Goodwill. It really feels great. Lighter.

I didn't formally set resolutions this year, and I didn't last year either. But I have been gradually chipping away at improving myself in small ways. I've made progress, and that's what counts. This new year is shining brightly with hope. I can see the many blessings in my life, and I can see the ways the Lord has supported me through the hard times. Whatever comes, I'll meet the challenges of 2016.