The stretching and humbling of Tiffany

A little over a year ago (July 2015) I received a new church calling completely out of the blue. Stake Primary President. Which means that I am helping/supporting the presidencies of the nine primaries in our stake. This new challenge completely perplexed me at first. I have served in a zillion presidencies, including Primary, but have never been Primary President. And I have never served in the Stake and I have NEVER desired to serve in the Stake. And, I had been feeling really good about the ministering service I was able to give on a ward level with the adult women, and then more recently the youngest age of teenagers. Apparently I was too comfortable, because I got dumped right into the fire.

There were some particular challenges with my situation which are too long to detail here. I received little information about what I needed to do, so it was very much a learn-on-the-job education. Or, more accurately, learn-when-people-are-yelling-at-me experience. It was pretty raw for awhile, as I didn't even know what I didn't know, but eventually I mastered what I needed to know and the lines of communication in all directions cleared up.

It was a really strange experience to call counselors from the stake, because they were women I barely knew. I tried to follow the Spirit's lead, and my criteria for counselors was not that they were experts at Primary, but that they would be humble and teachable and led by the Spirit. I love the women I work with.

My first big assignment came a few months after being called, when I was asked to speak at the Stake Priesthood Leadership meeting. My topic was "what priesthood men can do to better facilitate gospel teaching in the home." That's a meaty and interesting topic, but I was beyond terrified to speak in such a setting. With Dan's incredible help and support, I did it.

Six months later I was asked to do something even scarier - speak in Stake Conference. This is something I have feared ALL of my life. Once again, it was terrifying and once again I spent an agonizing month preparing for it, but it worked out and I didn't faint on the stand.

Other notable scary and big hurdles I've crossed in the last year . . . .

• Stake Primary Leadership meeting. We invited all the teachers, nursery workers, music leaders, and presidencies in the stake. I was involved in so many aspects of this, from teaching one of the classes, giving opening remarks, thinking through and preparing all the logistics of the night, to making most of the cookies we had as treats. It was exhausting and, ultimately, really fun and meaningful. The feedback we received was that it was practical, uplifting, and helpful. So that felt good.
• Pinewood Derby. Yuck. Not a fan. Never have been. Now I am in charge of it on a stake level. Triple yuck.
• Stake 11-year-old Scout Day Camp.  Our stake hosted 4 more stakes of rowdy 11 year old boys (Joseph was one of them). It was exhausting but great.
• Stake Activity Day Camp. This was so big. And so amazing. We felt like the 8-11 year old girls received something truly valuable, discovering the heroic qualities in themselves by studying heroes in the scriptures and in history. There were so many great things that happened that week, through the music, dance, classes, time machine travels (we had the coolest time machine which produced "heroes" several times a day), etc.  My counselor and her committee who planned this camp are amazing. I taught a class and helped run the camp.
• Sharing times for Ward Conferences. In January we prepared sharing times to give in each of the wards. I was in charge of senior sharing time. My lessons and activities turned out great in the first two wards we visited (my ward and another ward where I know most of the  kids), so I got a little cocky. The next few wards went OK, but not bad enough that I felt the need to re-evaluate my lesson. Finally, we came to a ward which was 180 kids and in which we knew no one. It was an utter train wreck, and I realized that I needed to humble myself and learn some better classroom management skills, and also tweak my lesson. I learned some great tips from my counselor (a teacher), re-worked my lesson, and lived to survive another ward.  

It is still a challenge for me to be on the stake level. I feel disconnected from my ward. Many weeks I am not able to to attend my own block of meetings. I feel like I do a lot more administering than ministering (which I love to do). But, I've tried to find ways to minister in this position. I try to connect with the ward presidents/presidencies so that they know that I am their advocate and support. I try to listen to them and be responsive to their needs. I feel good about having overcome and accomplished some things this year which were really monumental and difficult for me. I am remembering that I like leadership, and realizing that I can make leadership into something that feels meaningful and not remote. And I can't bring myself to think about what challenge the calling has in store for me next.  Deep breath. One step at a time!