Peaceful Oregon Coast

The Oregon Coast has been a favorite vacation spot for our family. It was a treat to spend one last family vacation on the coast before Brandon left for two years.  The very end of April we snuck in a four day trip to Depoe Bay.

What did we do there?  We laughed a lot, we played games and put together puzzles, we walked and walked and talked even more, we watched some DVDs, we spent some blissful hours on our favorite "Secret Beach" playing in the sand and running in the waves (even though the water was freezing), we did a little bit of shopping at the outlet malls, we rode bikes and played lots of tennis. We reveled in the incredible beauty of the ocean and the forest.

We didn't swim, despite our best intentions. The pool and hot tub in the gated community were closed for the once-a-year cleaning so they referred us to the community pool in Lincoln City because we had promised the kids that we would swim. When we arrived there we saw a huge hose draining water from the building.  Yep, closed for the once-a-year cleaning.

We were really lucky. In the midst of the rainiest spring in the Northwest in about 50 years we enjoyed three days of perfectly blue skies and decent temperatures (probably low 60s, which felt perfect, except for when we tried to get in the ocean.)
Below, our favorite reading bench overlooking the ocean. We all brought books to read there  . . . it is tradition!

  

We all loved playing tennis. Dan and Brandon gave the rest of us tennis lessons so we could improve our games. Joseph was more interested in striking cool poses for the camera than actually hitting the ball.  He and Dan also played Tball on the tennis court.

While we were at Secret Beach, Brandon created a sand drawing, with dimension on the palm of the hand and the face.

Yikes, says Joseph, this sand is so gritty and . . . . sandy.

 

 

 Bailey is our dedicated photographer.  Do you see a pattern below? 

 

One of the meandering paths through the forest. Walking through the woods overlooking the ocean is the perfect place to have heart to heart discussions.
 

Bailey and I took pictures of each other in the "magical forest," one of my favorite spots. It looks like something out of a storybook.

 

Our traditional visit to one of the best fudge shops in the world. Everyone gets $3 toward a treat and Mom gets as much fudge as she wants.  (I make the rules.)

We made wonderful family memories in a familiar and very special place.  Until next time!

Mary and Martha

Some final thoughts about preparing and sending off a missionary which have been percolating in my brain . . .

Remember the story about Mary and Martha in the New Testament?  Both were sisters of Lazarus and friends of Jesus, and He was at their home in Bethany for a meal.  Martha was scurrying about preparing the meal and Mary sat at Christ's feet and listened and learned from Him.

I've heard a lot of talks over the years that reference this story and make assertions about which woman was making the wiser choice - the restful and listening Mary or the busy and industrious Martha.  Personally, I think both women were showing love and respect, but in different ways. Someone had to make the food or the evening meal would be a flop. And Mary was certainly making a great choice, nurturing her relationship with her good friend and spiritual leader.  When Jesus told Martha that Mary was choosing the "better part," I don't think He was chastising either one of them. He simply pointed out that each had chosen something different. Mary's choice would have lasting value, but He also appreciated Martha's service.  I think it was all about finding the right balance.

I found myself thinking about this story a number of times during the month before Brandon left. I felt really conflicted about the best way to use the limited time we had with him before he was gone for two years. The Mary in me wanted to spend long hours talking to my amazing son and listening to his thoughts and feelings about life.  My "Mary" wanted to just talk and laugh and watch movies together. At the same time, the "Martha" in me had a list of to-dos four miles long and felt a sense of urgency bordering on panic when I thought about everything we needed to purchase/prepare and that I needed to make sure I had taught him before he left to the Ukraine.

This dual Mary/Martha multiple personality conflict made me grumpy sometimes. Finding the right balance was hard. There was so much to do, and they all had to be done so that Elder Porter would be prepared. But, at the same time, my baby boy was leaving. When he left to college he was gone, but still accessible by phone, email, or text, and he returned home now and then. From now on, he is really gone. And when he returns from his mission, he will be away and busy living his life independently, as he should be. So, my hands-on mothering job was drawing to a close and I wanted to savor the moments and pay respect to the major milestone we were crossing.

Brandon and I did enjoy quite a few long talks and hugs. They mostly took place late at night, when the "to-dos" were tucked away for the night and when he was done with all his social obligations. It was a worthwhile sacrifice, giving up sleep for a month in order to carve out some Mary-like moments in my Martha-like existence.

It was and is a privilege to be a mom to Brandon. And he will always be my baby.  When Brandon was born a good friend gave me the book Love You Forever.  Dan and I read this to Brandon hundreds of times when he was little. In the story the mom sings a song to her baby boy as he sleeps.  As the boy grows and his relationship with his mom evolves through all the stages of life - terrible twos, busy grade-schooler, exasperating teenager - the feelings of like and love she has for her "baby" don't change and she still sings him the same song as he sleeps at night. 

Brandon and I talked late into the night just before he left to the MTC and I reminded him of the words of the song in the book.

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

That's how I feel. For always.

Mother's Day 2011

What could be as fun as celebrating Mother's Day with my kindergartner at "Muffins and Moms?"  When I arrived I got a big hug and kiss and a special gift made just for me.  Joseph drew a wonderful picture of me and dictated some very cute things to the teacher (who typed them up and laminated the gift into a placemat):

My mom looks prettiest when she wears a dress.
My mom cooks the best cookies.
I help my mom pick up toys.
My favorite thing to do with my mom is play toys with her.
I like it when my mom hugs me.
Thank you, Mom, for seeing this. 
Happy Mother's Day 2011
Love, Joseph

Afterward the kids sang some very cute songs.  I have the video to prove it, but I can't get it to upload to blogger. Trust me on this one.

Mother's Day Sunday was just one week before "M Day," as in Missionary ready to go Day.  So, it wasn't quite as restful as usual.  I decided to combine the traditional "Kids Make Mom Dinner" with "Mom Teach Brandon How To Cook So He Doesn't Starve in Ukraine."  So, I was pretty busy supervising.  I did take a break, though, to be treated at Aubrey's Mother's Day Spa, set up on our deck outside.  She placed warm cloths on my arms and massaged my feet with lotion while I sat on a back massage cushion.  It was just fantastic . . . until we were chased inside by the raindrops.  But, her thoughtfulness was exemplary!  My favorite gifts (as always) were the cards made by the kids.

Being a mother is the most wonderful and challenging thing I could possibly be doing with my life. There's lots of ups and downs, but in the end there is nothing sweeter than the heartfelt words and the kisses of my children.  I couldn't ask for anything more out of life.  Except for quality fudge now and then. 

Family Pictures

Family pictures. What can I say.  Every few years we do our best to get a good shot of the family, but there is always a story associated with the photo session which explains why the pictures are less than picture perfect. But, it's much better to have fun-family-picture-taking-stories than to have a picture good enough to blow up poster-size to hang on the wall. Right? (Sigh) I'm working at believing that.

I do secretly wish for that poster-size print of all of the family looking just spiffy and smiling (with eyes open), so I'll keep trying every few years.  I'm a glutton for punishment.  


This is our most recent attempt.  We found a great photographer and planned to meet at Officer's Row in downtown Vancouver, a lovely spot with old houses and lots of greenery. We color coordinated outfits and curled and straightened and got ourselves presentable looking on a Friday evening.

Oops . . . mistake #1.  We were so busy making ourselves presentable that we forgot to make sure Child #4 ate a good lunch and a snack.  This child  doesn't usually enjoy eating and sometimes doesn't remember to eat unless we remind him.  When he gets ornery and out of sorts, he doesn't make the connection to his empty stomach. We didn't realize the error until we were at the pictures. So the stage was set for disaster.

Mistake #2 . . . well, Mother Nature was in charge of this one.  The weather had been nice all week and overcast for most of the day, but a few hours before the pictures the buckets of heaven started pouring down water. And poured. And poured. It was cold (high 40s), a little windy, and really humid and wet.  But, this was the only day available for pictures before Brandon left on his mission. We took the pictures on the big wraparound porch of one of the houses on Officer's Row. Behind us, the sky poured big sheets of rain. It was still a pretty spot, but it would have been nice to be out amongst the greenery and flowers.  Luckily, our photographer had a great lens which somehow captured light where there was none.

Joseph was really bothered by the weather.  He doesn't like picture-taking under the best of circumstances, and he was cold and uncomfortable and wet and seriously unhappy. And our hair which was so carefully straightened or curled?  It reverted to its usual state in a quick hurry, with plenty of frizz. Dan would like to point out that he doesn't have this problem.  His problem was that what little light there was bounced off his bald head, creating the illusion that he didn't have a complete head.

Mistake #3  - We never should have questioned Joseph's fashion sense.  About a month ago he suddenly began tucking in all his shirts (even jackets) into his jeans.  He needs a really "tight tuck" into the jeans, with no bagginess whatsoever in the shirt. The pants must be pulled as high as possible past his waist, Urkel-style. We had the audacity to question this sartorial choice as we began the photo session, and MAN did we pay for it.
This sweet child refused to cooperate with the picture taking.  Wouldn't smile.  Wouldn't stay put.  Wouldn't look at the camera.  Made it impossible to get many family shots.  We pulled out every bribe and threat at our disposal, but to no avail. Double Sigh.
What could we do?  Our great photographer took pictures anyway. She captured some great shots of the family in small groups.  We wish we had been able to try for more family shots (remember that poster-sized picture for the wall that I long for????) but we did the very best we could with a challenging situation.

 We are definitely blowing this one up. It really captured reality.

"Please, let this end," says poor Joseph in the picture above.  And then, below, he gives up.

Wrapped up in Brandon's coat when we were done and then walking to the car through the rain with the help of Aubrey.

We did try one more time to get some family shots . . . a friend offered to come by our home after church on the day of Brandon's farewell/open house.  Our plan was to get some nice pictures of the family with both sets of grandparents, preferably in our yard with the pretty flowers. Guess what the weather was like?  You got it.  Pouring rain.  So, no outside shots. We didn't really find a place in the house with great light, but we did our best.  At least we captured the moment, right?

More shots from the photo shoots are at the bottom of the post, for those family members who really care about seeing all the shots.  But, first I thought I would reminisce about some of our previous family pictures . . .

Remember Hawaii in November of 2009? Click here if you don't remember the fun adventure as we took pictures on the windy beach with dangerous sea animals nibbling at our toes.  Just for fun, I thought I would include some of the UNedited videos from that day (in the edited versions the photographer had to photoshop our hair to disguise the crazy wind hairstyles.)

 Oh yeah, that's really attractive.

Lovely, don't you think?

Then there were family pictures in August of 2007.  The photo session was fine, except for the fact that Joseph (then just 2 years old) wouldn't stay sitting down for the picture. The photographer had to photoshop his head from another shot into the family photo (photoshop is our friend).

And now, for those who have nothing better to do, I'll upload some of the other pictures from our two  family photo sessions.

 

 

 

 

 

 And some shots from Sunday after church:

 

 Oh, so NOW you remember how to smile, cute little Joseph!

 

 

 

 Maybe outside on the porch, the only place we could find shelter from the rain? 
 Or, we could try a quick shot under the tree (which provided a little shelter)

We really tried hard. And now we don't have to try for another two years!