September

 As September kicked into full swing, Joseph and Gabe spent quite a bit of time outside of school working on their youtube channel (Pandashades). Here they filmed themselves making chocolate chip cookies. Not only do the boys have a great sense of comic timing in their videos, but Joseph's editing is hilarious and very well done!

They left a huge mess!

Mid-September Joseph came down with a lousy illness with a fever and sore throat. He hardly moved from the couch and missed three days of school, which is quite calamitous in middle school.

 That weekend Aubrey got her senior pictures taken at Fort Vancouver. The photographer (Mallory Wilkes did a great job, and Aubrey is a natural model!)

Rockaway Beach

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 The end of August our little family of four ran away for 3 days to Rockaway Beach on the Oregon Coast. We stayed in a beach house half a block from the water. We loved the chance to be together, eat ice cream at the nearby Tillamook cheese factory, hang out on the beach, watch the sunsets over the ocean each night, explore the area, and watch movies and play games together.

The kids made a sandcastle based on the fortifications Captain Moroni built around the cities to protect them from the Lamanites!

The Octopus Tree, near the Cape Meares Lighthouse.

December thoughts

Wow, here I am one month later, still without pictures to upload. Once again, I think I'll just share a few thoughts about the last month. Later tonight most everyone in my family is busy, so maybe I will try to do a whirlwind job of uploading some pictures from the last few months. Or maybe I will just read a book and eat Christmas cookies while listening to Frank Sinatra and Karen Carpenter sing my favorite Christmas songs. That might be the very best choice!

I have to say that this has been a very peaceful Christmas season, and I'm very grateful for that fact. We worked hard at setting healthy boundaries on what we committed to during the past month (which included saying no to a number of invitations) and worked to get the things we value doing completed early in the month. That leaves me now, 10 days before Christmas, with the cards sent, the gifts bought and wrapped, the house decorated, and the goodies all made and delivered. Now my goal every day is to blast the very best Christmas songs at all times while I do all the daily stuff I need to do, interrupted only to talk to my family and to watch Christmas movies. I'm catching up on finishing a few books which are overdue at the library and helping some people in my ward/neighborhood who really need help. I'm doing some extra journaling and working through some of the complications of planning the 2018 stake primary stuff. But none of it feels stressful this year.

One thing I really, really appreciate is the amount of sunlight we have had this year. It's so unusual for us to have a long stretch of cold, sunny days. But, we haven't had measurable rain since Thanksgiving, and almost every day has been sunny and bright. That makes such a difference, and makes it much less overwhelming when the sun drops from the sky around 4 p.m.

We have been reading a Christmas book every night sitting on the floor by the tree, which is probably my favorite tradition. The kids are good about coming to sit by me but are definitely more distracted than they were in past years. Yet another proof that we are quickly becoming a family of teens/adults! But, I cherish the time we cuddle together listening to familiar stories with great messages.

The kids are all doing well, working through their various challenges. Life is hard sometimes, but they seem to all know where to turn for help when they need it. Dan and I are so grateful for each of them. I feel grateful for them all day every day, and I admire their courage and tenacity.

The last few months we have done the best we have done in YEARS at scripture study. Dan had a thought during stake conference about how we could structure scripture study more like he used to teach his seminary class. He has taken on the assignment to read ahead the next day's scriptures and look for some search questions and application questions we can consider while we read. We read while eating breakfast after Aubrey gets back from seminary, and we read about 4-5 verses each, which is just long enough. And we have had some great conversations and made some great connections during our brief study. Woohoo!

It's a truly peaceful Christmas season, despite the abundance of non-peaceful things going on in the world right now. We are grateful for each other and for the Savior.

November thoughts

I really should be posting some pictures from the past few months and documenting our lives, but I have been doing so much picture editing/digital book creation lately that I am burned out on looking at my pictures. So, I'll save that for another day.

Speaking of pictures, I recently decided that I want to print a few pictures on 16x20 canvases for the wall. I want one of the canvas prints to be a beautiful picture of somewhere in the U.K., to remember our recent trip there. However, when I pulled up my pictures the other day to look for a suitable shot, I was confronted by a sad reality. I am not a good photographer, at least not an artistic and skilled photographer. I am actually really good at making sure that we document our lives in pictures, and then I assiduously work to put them into digital books to create our family history. I am always the one snapping pictures of events or vacations. But, I told Dan last night that we need to change that because he has a much better eye for photography. He actually composes his photos and his pictures turn out great. I point and shoot, and then point and shoot some more. So I capture the moment really well, but sometimes the artistic quality is sadly lacking. Anyway, I couldn't find a single picture from our trip which was blow-up-and-print-on-a-canvas-worthy. So I contacted my niece Alexa, who takes great pictures and who recently also visited London, and asked if I could use one of her pictures of London to print on my wall. And she happily agreed, so all is well.

Also, I've been thinking about cleaning out and reducing. This time of year we go through a particular exercise in regards to our fridge. Because of the layout of our kitchen, we have to have a (smaller) counter-depth fridge. Because of this, we never have enough space for the ingredients and the leftovers from a big holiday meal. So, every year before Thanksgiving I take out each item and evaluate whether it REALLY deserves valuable fridge real estate. We usually eat up some things and throw out a lot of things too. And as a result, we have a cleaner and more streamlined refrigerator, and everything has a purpose.

This reminds me of the process Aubrey went through last spring. She got into minimalism after listening to a podcast called "The Minimalists," recommended by one of her friends. She embraced the idea of getting rid of non-essential things and every day brought down huge garbage bags of stuff from her room that she no longer needed. She was ruthless with her de-cluttering, and often made another pass and pulled out more things from an already cleaned out drawer or closet. She also got rid of many things like old school papers which fall into the category of "what if I need it someday so I shouldn't throw it out." In the end, she was left with a streamlined room, where everything has a place and purpose. And packing for college this year will be very easy, as she has already sorted and disposed of things she doesn't need.

As I was working on de-cluttering the fridge today, I thought about how I continually need to apply the same principle to my life. Maybe we all need to do this. I need to pull everything out and examine it and then decide what goes back in and what doesn't deserve space in my life. This last year I've tried to do this a bit, but I could do more. Some things are worth my time and energy, and some just are not. Some worries are an impetus for change or nurturing, but some are just an unnecessary weight in my life and my mind. 

This is probably a bad time to be thinking about de-cluttering life and objects, as we head into the Christmas season. I love Christmas, at least as much as anyone else out there. When I was a kid I would say I loved it exponentially more than most other people. But, as an adult I also see that along with the reminder of our Savior and the warm feelings and fun, the Christmas season involves a lot of stuff (physical things like decorations and time things like parties and traditions) crammed into a month. I love it, but it is a lot. We will do our best to take out the things that don't matter and focus on the things of greatest worth to us, but it will still be busy and there will still be a lot of stuff everywhere.

But, after the joy of Christmas, we will clear things away and I will resume my re-painting and re-imagining of most of the rooms in the house. I'm excited about that, as I attempt to change the color scheme of our house with some paint and a few accessories which are meaningful.

But, first we get to enjoy Thanksgiving, and all our kids will be home! There's nothing like having a house full of people talking, laughing, and just being together.

And, finally, it is really dark today. It's only 3:08 pm, and it is pouring rain and almost dark outside. Thank goodness for electricity today, so we can be warm, dry, and can pretend like we don't live in a dark hole for a few months of the year!

Light and other random stuff

Light

In the past few years I have become very aware of the power of light in my life. I don't remember thinking much about light when we lived in Utah, and definitely not when we lived in Arizona. But when we moved to Washington 11 years ago I noticed very quickly that winter = very little light. And that was really hard. So I immediately painted all the walls sunny colors (the same walls that I'm currently re-painting!) and I would turn on almost every light in the house during the day to give the illusion of some light. That helped. But a few years ago I started to notice that I was craving light even more, and I felt really sluggish and even down when the grey days stretched into weeks or months. I bought a light box, and that definitely helps. I take high doses of Vitamin D in the winter, and that helps. And whenever there is any light, I sit in it.

That's what I have been doing lately. We have had only one bad week of rain so far this fall, and this week we are back to enjoying beautiful crisp, sunny fall weather. So several times a day I stop whatever I am doing and find the sun. In the afternoons I often sit outside with one of the kids and read a book on the porch, with the sunshine on our faces. And I discovered a few months ago that at around 11 a.m. on a sunny day, I can sit on the edge of the couch next to the window in the family room and feel the sun streaming through the window. So, if at all possible, I drop everything at 11 a.m. and find that spot on the couch, cuddle up with my book, and feel the sunshine. It's Vitamin D and light therapy, and I'm storing up for the long winter ahead.

Awkward

We Porters are inordinately worried about looking awkward in situations, because uncomfortable and awkward situations trigger the anxiety which tries really hard to control us. For many years Dan and I have heard our kids protest "I can't do that - it's so awkward." And we parents have also sometimes shied away from things because they felt awkward. So this year our Porter theme is:

We Can Do Awkward Things

I posted a sign reminding us of this fact in our front hallway, and I really love the reminder. What do our kids think about it? They think it's super awkward to have a sign that reminds us that we can do awkward things.

Large Print

I put a lot of books on hold. I mean, a lot. My to-read pile from the library is generally at least 15 books high. Often when I am reserving books I'm given the choice of a "large print" book. I usually avoid these and go for the normal print book, as large print books are for old people, right?  But sometimes the large print is the only copy available, so I reserve it.

A few weeks ago I was reading a book in large print and realized that it was so, so nice. I didn't have to be in just the right light with the book held at just the right angle for me to read it. And I didn't need my old lady reading glasses. Amazing! And a little depressing too.

Painting

I'm re-painting pretty much every wall in the house. Last year I re-painted the kitchen and family room a nice "greige" color, and now the rest of the house is getting a similar treatment, which is effectively lightening and updating our house. I really don't enjoy or excel at the process of re-decorating a house, so I tend to stick with the same decor for decades at a time. But re-painting is something that doesn't intimidate me at all. A few days ago I painted most of the entryway and hall upstairs, and I love the "accessible beige" color, which is a light mix of beige and grey. I still need to get the really high parts of the entryway, including the tricky parts over the stairs. I'm waiting for the Sherwin Williams paint to go back on sale next week, and waiting for Dan to help me figure out how to rig a really tall scaffolding so I don't fall off and cause bodily harm. 

Allergy shots for all eternity

I have a long and not very happy history with year-round allergies. They first developed in AZ, after giving birth to Brandon and got much worse a few years after we moved to Utah. Constant sinus infections drove me to find an allergist. He recommended allergy shots, which I did for 3 years before we moved to WA. During the time I was on the shots, I had complete relief from allergies. I didn't have to take ANY medicine, and I was so sure I was cured forever. After moving to one of the most verdant and allergy-filled states in the country, I was OK for a few years until my body became sensitized to all the many allergens in my environment. And then I was sooooo miserable. Once again, I had perpetual sinus infections and was generally feeling lousy most of the time. So, I started allergy shots again in the spring of 2011. And I have been faithfully getting 3 shots every 1-4 weeks for the last 6 1/2 years. I have surpassed the length of time they usually recommend for allergy shots, as most people can stop and find continued relief after 5 years. I still experience allergies and need medication (Zyrtec and corticosteroid nose sprays) all year long. But, the sinus infections have resolved. Almost every possible allergen is in my allergy serum, at the highest possible concentration. A few weeks ago the allergist recommended repeated allergy testing to see if I was showing less of reaction to allergens after such prolonged treatment. Within seconds of the pinpricks all over my back (with a drop of an allergen on each pinprick), my back was one massive red and itchy hive. Basically, I am still allergic to everything. Everything. And what they recommended was another year of allergy shots. And that's all I can say about it today because it's a truly depressing topic!

It is well with my soul

I've had some thoughts running through my head for the last few months about peace and hope.  In August I was listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir broadcast on a Sunday morning and I heard this song: (click to hear it) 

It is Well With My Soul - Music and the Spoken Word

I don't think I had ever heard this particular hymn, and it speaks right to my soul. I have listened to it on repeat ever since.

I love the words, although my favorite by far is listening to it:

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well
With my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

My take away from this? No matter what, Christ overcame all. So I can have peace, no matter the circumstances of my life. What an amazing blessing this is. 

Two days ago I had a remarkable experience. I was able to meet for a few hours with a woman in my neighborhood named Therese who lived through the Nazi occupation of Hungary and endured unimaginable hardships during and after WWII. She is from a Hungarian Catholic family, and she watched her Jewish friends taken away by the SS Guards. She recounted to our small group the fear, hunger, and uncertainty she and her parents endured daily for 7 years as they were refugees across Europe in order to avoid abuse by German and Russian soldiers. Her story is riveting and true, and would make an amazing movie. Therese and her parents (and twin siblings, born right after the firebombing in Dresden) escaped Europe through a series of miracles and settled in the United States. While their days of starvation were over, her life continued to be hard as she married a very abusive man and continued to suffer incredibly. Eventually, she divorced, remarried a wonderful man, and they happily raised their combined household of 11 children. Therese's husband died last year.

It was a truly spiritual experience to hear Therese talk about her life. Not only was her story compelling and a fascinating glimpse into the history of World War II, but she felt strongly that we understand her message. She said that everything in her life is evidence of the love of God for her. That she was sustained and saved so  many times through miraculous means. She ended her talk with us with tears in her eyes, imploring us to remember to have hope. "Without hope," she said, "we are nothing. Our hard times are just part of the journey. And our hope and our help can only come through God and His Son, Christ Jesus."  

I am so grateful for the chance to know Therese and to understand better the remarkable events in her life. She was a true example that trials can harden us or they can soften us and turn us to the Savior. 

And I am so grateful for yet another reminder that life, despite its many hardships, is a journey, and "Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul."

Sunsets and Mercy

I drove home today with a glad heart because I had been able to help a friend. And when I turned my car toward the west God gave me the most beautiful sunset I've seen in quite awhile. 

Sunsets in the Pacific Northwest are kind of a tricky thing. We often have too many clouds to really see the sun at all. And our glorious trees tend to obstruct the view of the horizon, narrowing our focus to just a tiny sliver of the sky.  But tonight the slivers I could see were glorious.  

As I drove down a hilly two-lane road toward home, I saw peek-a-boo glimpses of the deep oranges, reds, purples, blues against the silhouetted pine trees. I don't know why exactly, but this made me emotional. I can still feel the tears welling up when I picture the sunset in my mind. I really needed the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to chime in with a rousing "How Great Thou Art" to complement my glimpse of heavenly splendor. 

This is what I was thinking. 

I am so grateful to live in such a dazzling world. God's world is so beautiful, and the beauty persists despite a lot of really hard things happening in the world right now and in the lives of people I love dearly. 

Glimpses of this splendor give me hope and remind me that there are greater powers in charge. I can't always see the full extent of the beauty, but it is there. And God is there.

Seeing this sunset tonight feels like an evidence of God's mercy. I've been thinking a lot about the ways my Father in Heaven is merciful in my life and the lives of others. I just finished the Book of Mormon, which is bookended with statements about mercy.

I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

1 Nephi 1:20

I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things . . . that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men . . .  and ponder it in your hearts." 

Moroni 9:3

 I am pondering in my heart tonight about how the Lord is making us mighty even until deliverance. And the Spirit is bringing to my mind the many ways that God's mercy is evident in my life. 

Trip to smoky Bend

We were lucky to spend August 1-4 with Grandma and Grandpa Springer, who were at a timeshare in Redmond, Oregon (near Bend) for a week. It was great to see them, visit with them, cook meals with them, do lots of fun outdoor activities with them, and breathe in lots of toxic air with them.  ???  Raging wildfires all throughout Oregon created smoky, particulate-filled air. I'm not entirely sure if it was wise, but we still golfed, swam, rode bikes, took walks, etc even though the air was pretty terrible!

The boys went golfing and loved it. Joseph got to drive the golf cart for most of the time, until an employee came by to say that golf cart drivers have to be 18 or older.  

When Joseph had to stop driving the golf cart, the smile just melted off his face.

 We all rented bikes and rode twice around the resort. At first Dan and Joseph rode in the really cute and torturous side by side recumbent bike. It was SOOO difficult to peddle. After awhile Aubrey took over for Dan and then we switched it in for road or cruiser bikes for everyone. I loved my cruiser!

If you look close at the pictures (that I took while riding my bike because I'm talented liked that), you can see the smoke hanging all around us.

We had the swimming pool all to ourselves! Dan did a really cool handstand walking trick. Joseph tried it too and found that it was harder than he thought.

 We ate lots of good meals together and played Quiddler one of the nights.

 We had ice cream to celebrate Grandpa's birthday. Joseph had this little Ben and Jerry's chocolate. At first he scoffed at the small size, but then decided that it was perfect!

 And, driving out of town and back to Vancouver on Labor Day. It's hard to tell from this picture, but there are supposed to be mountains just in front of us, but the smoke completely obscured them. Once we got home we expected better air quality, but that next day a major fire started in our favorite place in Oregon - the Gorge! The smoke and ash from the Gorge fire caused major issues for air quality in Vancouver and Portland for the next two weeks.