The Porter People: Remembering Grandma

My Grandma Palmer passed away on November 22, 2017, the day before Thanksgiving. Her passing was expected as her health had been declining rapidly this last year.

I knew Grandma very well throughout my youth and saw her quite a bit until we moved to Utah when I was 15. We frequently went to their house on Sunday nights and holidays to visit with her and Grandpa John. I spent the night at her house sometimes, especially when my cousin Tonnis was in town.

Some things I remember about Grandma:

She loved to take baths at night and put on her robe and slippers as soon as it was dark (or sometimes even before dark!)
She had beautiful white hair and a clear complexion.
I loved traveling with her to see my cousin Tonnis. When I was 10 I flew on an airplane for the first time to Washington, D.C. When I was 15 we visited them in Kentucky.
She was a collector and had an impressive collection of owl-themed objects around her house. On Sundays when we visited, my siblings and I would entertain ourselves by counting them (Maybe this is hyperbole caused by the passing of many years, but I think I remember close to 150 owl items). Grandma was always a little annoyed with our owl counting activities and hearing the final tally. She also collected jewelry and had many pretty rings, etc.
She had exemplary handwriting. Once a teacher, always a teacher!
She fed me peaches from Grandpa's garden with cream and sugar and it tasted like heaven.
She was very interested in my education and goals.
She like to read the Reader's Digest.
Every time she talked about how she had to put her mother (Grandma Bailey) into a nursing home due to her dementia, she cried.
She and I wore the same shoe size by the time I was in middle school and both had incredibly narrow feet. She very kindly gave me her old shoes over the years which were pretty unstylish for a middle schooler to wear. But I was too much of a people pleaser to refuse them.
As I grew into a tall beanpole, she reminded me frequently to stand up straight. If we were walking together and I was slumping, she would 'lovingly' karate chop me between my shoulder blades to remind me.
In the morning she always watched The Price is Right and Donahue. At night she and Grandpa would sit in their chairs and watch TV or movies.
When I was 12 I developed pneumonia over the summer and Grandma took care of me for several weeks (maybe a month?) at her home. I remember sleeping most of the day on her couch and then going to her guest room at night to sleep some more. Whenever I woke up, she gave me my antibiotics, which she called "horse pills" because they were so large, and tried to get me to eat chicken noodle soup.
She did lots of beautiful hand needlework. I have one of the framed needlwork pieces she made with me in mind - a girl sitting at a piano.
As she got older and my own family and I visited, her personality and demeanor had really softened and she was very emotional and teary.
In the last 11 years that we have lived in Washington, I've visited a number of times to interview/video Grandma and spend time with her and my other relatives. I'm so glad I had those opportunities. One of my favorite memories of Grandma is from when I visited for her birthday almost 2 years ago. We spent time visiting at her home and she showed me all the items she had collected over the years. Then we went shopping at Ross to find her some new white capri pants. We had so much fun and giggled like silly schoolgirls when the only pants we could find had sparkly rhinestones on the rear. The thought of her wearing those pants around the assisted living home was just too much and we laughed so much that we had to find a place to sit down. After we recovered, we went to lunch at her "favorite lunch place" - Pizza Hut. And she got herself a size large meat lover's pizza and ate half of it! It was awesome. That night we met up with my Aunt Lora and Uncle Brent for dinner at the new restaurant in town (Carls Jr.). It makes me really sad inside to realize that both Aunt Lora and Grandma have passed away since that time.

As Grandma's health declined quickly, my parents and sisters made plans to go to Washington to see her immediately after Thanksgiving, but she didn't make it that long. But, my parents were able to get there shortly after and greatly helped with the arrangements and cleaning out Grandma's home at the assisted living center.

As soon as our family left out of town after Thanksgiving, I prepared to drive to Moses Lake for her graveside service on Tuesday, November 28th. It was truly wonderful to see my immediate and extended family and so many people I knew from my childhood in Moses Lake. I am so grateful for each of these people, and I have to say that I really enjoyed seeing every one of my relatives. They are a diverse and delightful bunch and I would like to find more opportunities to gather with my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. And, of course, any day I can hang out with my parents and siblings is a fantastic day!

Dad did a great job conducting the graveside service and Uncle Craig read the life sketch. It was quite cold outside but the forecasted rain held off until just after we left the cemetery.

Afterward, we all gathered at Michael's the one nice restaurant in town, for a luncheon.

Below, Uncle Brent (Grandma's brother), Aunt Holly, Uncle Craig, Mom, Uncle Nyle (Grandma's brother)

Grandma was a complicated person. She had some really great qualities and some not so good qualities. She wasn't terribly warm or nurturing, but I think she improved a little as she got older. She exemplified many admirable things, including striving for education and working to preserve friendships. She was blessed with four amazing kids, all very close together. I'm not sure I will ever entirely understand the enigma which is my Grandma, but I'm grateful for the good memories I have.

I took some pictures of a poster Aunt Holly had created for Grandma's birthday with photos of her life. I really want to get digital copies of the scanned pictures.

This is Grandma and her 3 best friends, who remained her friends throughout her life. I think she is the one on the left. ?

Grandma in the dress which her mother made for her. The same dress has been passed on now to 3 generations, and photos have been taken of most of the girls in the family in the same dress.