The Kissing Hand

 It was the night before school started. Everyone's clothes were laid out for the week, backpacks were packed with new school supplies, and Dan had given the kids amazing and comforting priesthood father's blessings.  I had a sad moment realizing that, for the first time in 19 1/2 years, I would have no child home during the day. Not that I mind a little more time to get things done, but I miss interactions with my kids throughout the day. I'm not a big fan of compressing all of our talking and being together into a few chaotic and crazy hours between the end of school and bedtime.

But the kids were excited for school, and they should be (when I was a kid I always felt like the night before school started was ALMOST as exciting as Christmas Eve!). School is great. And I am so excited for them. I see great growth in them every year as they try new things, have new experiences, and learn more and more.  School and a return to structure is a good thing. But I can still sigh a little.

And then I remembered a favorite tradition. When Bailey was starting 1st grade I discovered the book The Kissing Hand.  I read it to her before her first day of school, and then I read it to Aubrey before her first day of school. It is a special tradition and memory . . . . or so I thought.  When I found the book and announced that we were now going to include Joseph in our tradition, the girls looked at me blankly.

"What??" I said. "You don't remember our special tradition?  We would cuddle together the night before you started all-day school and I would read you this comforting book about how everything was going to be okay and how you could always feel your Mama's love throughout the day when you put your hand to your cheek?  You don't remember?"

More blank stares.  "Uhhhh, sure Mom. If you say so."  Giggles and laughs and even some eye rolling about the "cheesy book." How is it that the kids don't even remember something I felt was so important and significant?

After thinking it through, I believe I get it. On the eve of 1st grade, the kids are excited, but really have no idea what a momentous transition it is. They don't know that they will be in school all day until they leave the home to live on their own. They don't realize that nothing will be the same again, even though it's a wonderful and necessary transition in life. But I know this, so I marked those moments in my memory and did my own quiet letting-go as the kids started school. So the book The Kissing Hand is really for me, I guess. 

By the way, I was undeterred by their laughter and eye rolling. Not only did I cuddle with Joseph and read the book and go through the ritual of kissing his hand and him kissing mine so that we would have love to get us through the day, I then visited both of the girl's bedrooms (despite their protests) and read them the same book. And kissed their hand. And tried to get them to kiss mine.  Because each of them was making an important transition.  Bailey starting high school. Aubrey starting middle school. Joseph starting full-day elementary school. And you are never too old to have your Mom kiss your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay and you are loved by your Mama.

So, in honor of our tradition (which apparently didn't really impact on my children, but is important to me), I am going to share some of my favorite lines from The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn, which tells the story about a raccoon named Chester as he begins school for the first time.

Chester Raccoon stood at the edge of the forest and cried.

"I don't want to go to school" he told his mother.  "I want to stay home with you.  I want to play with my friends. And play with my toys. And read my books. And swing on my swing. Please may I stay home with you?"

Mrs. Raccoon took Chester by the hand and nuzzled him on the ear.

"Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to do," she told him gently.  "Even if they seem strange and scary at first. But you will love school once you start."

And then Mrs. Raccoon shared a very old secret called the Kissing Hand. She took his hand and kissed it, right in the center of his palm.

And Chester felt his mother's kiss rush from his hand, up his arm, and into his heart.

Mrs. Raccoon smiled.  "Now," she told Chester, "whenever you feel lonely and need a little loving from home, just press your hand to your cheek and think, 'Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you.' And that very kiss will jump to your face and fill you with toasty warm thoughts."

Chester loved his Kissing Hand. Now he knew his mother's love would go with him wherever he went. Even to school. 

As Chester prepared to enter his school, he stopped and asked his mother for her hand. He kissed her hand right in the center of the palm.

"Now you have Kissing Hand, too." he told her.  And with a gentle "Good-bye" and "I love you," Chester turned and danced away.

Mrs. Raccoon watched Chester scamper across a tree limb and enter school. And as the hoot owl rang in the new school year, she pressed her left hand to her cheek and smiled. The warmth of Chester's kiss filled heart with special words.

"Chester loves you," it sang.  "Chester loves you."


p.s.  Look at what Joseph brought home from from school on his first day of school. Looks like his teacher is a Kissing Hand fan, too!

It says:
It's the first day of school
And the Kissing Hand is what we read.
It's about a raccoon
Who did just as his parents said.
Like the raccoon's first day of school
I was scared and a little shy.
But because of what you said
I was brave and I got by.

All through the year
I'll make more things for you.
So as I change and as I learn
You can see my growth, too!

Love, Joseph Porter