No more free education

That's right, after 13 years of free education, from now on Brandon (and to some extent his parents) will pay handsomely for the privilege of learning in a classroom setting. Brandon graduated from Skyview High School last Friday.
A group of the LDS kids in our Stake after Baccalaureate on Sunday. Brandon is at the far upper right.
Brandon (far left of the photo) sang as part of a small senior choir at Baccalaureate and Commencement. They sang "Calling My Children Home," a beautiful song designed to make all mothers cry.
After Baccalaureate Joseph carefully gathered beautiful dandelions to give to us. We loved them.
By the time graduation rolled around on Friday, Joseph was DONE with graduation events for Brandon. There was something to attend almost every night that week. When we were walking into the school Friday night, Joseph insisted that "Brandon alweady gwaduated . . . thwee times!"
Brandon and his good friend Taylor preparing to fly from the nest.
Look, Aubrey can fly, too!
Grandma and Grandpa Porter came into town from Arizona for the events. It was great to have them here!
Brandon and Bailey just before we left for commencement. We were running late - we had prepared a barbeque for the family, given Brandon some gifts, and then watched a slideshow I had prepared of Brandon's life so far. We forgot to watch the clock, and so we didn't get there in time for good seats in the gym! It's a good thing my camera has an awesome zoom lens attachment.
Walking up to the stage to receive his diploma. Brandon met the rigorous requirements for the SMT (Science, Math, and Technology) program at his high school.
Just "five more years" until her graduation, Bailey reminded us.

Right after the graduation most of the seniors boarded buses to leave for a school-sponsored (heavily chaperoned) all-night graduation party at a recreational center in Portland. Brandon had a great time and got home at about 6 a.m.

As Brandon's mother, his graduation was bittersweet for me. I am so proud of him and incredibly excited for all the wonderful opportunities and adventures he will have during college/mission/real life. At the same time, my involvement in the day to day aspects of his life is dramatically reducing. As I watched him throughout the graduation ceremony, I saw in my mind's eye a solemn and shy 2 year old, an eager-to-learn preschooler, an elementary school kid missing a front tooth, a kid with a sweet smile and a subtle sense of humor, a middle-school and high-school kid who would sit on my bed at night to talk through all the confusing things in his life. It really hit me that this is not only a huge transition for him, but also for us. And maybe especially for me. It has been a privilege to have a hand in raising Brandon. Many times I felt like he was wiser than me. I am really going to miss him, but I can't wait to see what he makes of the next chapters of his life.

The newest teenager in the house

Bailey is 13! She spent a full week celebrating this momentous birthday.

Bailey started her birthday with breakfast in bed (crepes and strawberries), joined by Aubrey, Elissa and Jackie Fulton, and Alayna Johnson. We normally have a "no sleepover" rule, but the Fultons were out of town, so we were watching the girls for five days. It was nice that this was over Bailey's birthday, so they could celebrate together. We dragged five mattresses into the bonus room and laid them side by side. The girls giggled, played games, and played "Let's Dance" (Bailey's new Wii game) until late every night.

Opening some gifts the evening of her birthday.

The exciting present this year . . . and ipod touch.

The next weekend Bailey had a party with all her church and school friends. They were a very energetic and fun group of 13 year olds! They partied until 11 p.m.



Bailey wanted cheesecake instead of a birthday cake.

Bailey, with friends Morgan and Nina, wearing her new bday sunglasses. They look suspiciously like the 80s to me! All that is old is new again.

Happy Birthday Bailey!

Four years of 5:30 a.m.

This is Brandon walking out the door to early morning Seminary for the last time. To make it to Seminary on time, he leaves a little after 6 a.m. As he left, I grabbed my camera to document the moment, because it felt like the end of quite a journey.

As Brandon ate breakfast the morning of this picture, we reminisced about when he started Seminary as a freshman. We had moved to Washington the day before school began and were living in the Marriott Residence Inn while house hunting. The hotel was about a 20 minute drive to the church where Seminary was held. We would leave at about 5:40 a.m. in the dark, stopping at the lobby of the hotel to grab some breakfast (Brandon had biscuits and gravy and a chocolate muffin every day) and a newspaper. I would drive him to the building and wait in the car for an hour, reading the paper and eating my breakfast. Then I would drop him off him to school and drive back to the hotel, where I was home schooling the girls until we bought a house and knew which elementary school they would attend. It was a really challenging time in our lives. We lived in the Residence Inn for three months before settling into our house, which was a only a five minute drive to the church.

We continued driving him each day of his freshman year. We didn't know anyone well enough that year to carpool or help with rides to school after Seminary. Sophomore year he got a ride with the Zach McDonnell, and then Junior and Senior years he drove himself to Seminary. As Senioritis kicked in the last few months, it got harder and harder for him to get up and out the door in time for Seminary, but he persisted, and he graduated from Seminary last Sunday and was a "master scriptorian," having memorized all the Scripture Mastery verses each of the four years.

There is something to be said for the sacrifice of having Seminary early in the morning. It tests commitment and desires to learn spiritual things rather than sleep another hour. Brandon always felt that his day started better when he started with Seminary. There were days when he struggled to get up. Some days he didn't make it. Some days he made it, but late. I learned that it is important to me to interact with each kid in the morning, so I got up (bleary-eyed and wild hair) to fix breakfast each day of Seminary (Dan shared this responsibility also). I see this as precious time in the morning, touching base before the child heads off to the temptations and struggles of high school.

I am grateful for the chance we have had to choose something even better than sleep. I am also grateful that we have a year off of Seminary before we begin the journey anew with Bailey!

Change for a 5

We are so amazed by Brandon's leadership and musical skills! He has really enjoyed playing with his band, Change for a 5. He wanted to have one last big "gig" before graduation. He had the idea to organize a "Battle of the Bands" concert, with all proceeds going to a charitable cause. To do this, he spent many, many hours over the last few months lining up bands, finding vendors to donate food and a printer to give a cut-rate on printing tickets and signs, securing a venue, meeting with the bands and creating the rules for the concert, finding people to run the sound equipment, etc. He showed incredible leadership as he confidently organized, planned, and tracked the many details involved.

The concert (held last Friday) was a great success. They made $900 for the cause. The music was great, and it was a very enjoyable night. Dan and I had to pinch ourselves several times to make sure we weren't dreaming when our formerly shy son belted songs into the microphone, while also playing a mean guitar. Brandon's band performed seven original songs. He had written almost all the words and music for their songs. Prior to the concert, he used his recording/editing software to record the band members performing the songs one track at a time (first recording the drum part, then the piano part, then electric guitar, etc.). He combined and edited the tracks, creating songs that he burned to CDs, which they sold at the concert.

Good job, Brandon! You are an awesome young man.

The members of the band are friends from Skyview High School.

For this song, "Must be Monday," Taylor (on piano) provided comic relief with some props (that is Joseph's helmet!)

After Change for a 5 performed, Brandon accompanied and sang harmony with a good friend, Sammy. She wrote the lyrics to one of the band's songs, and has a beautiful voice.

We hope Brandon can find a way to continue to be involved in music at college, because this is something he definitely enjoys.

There is video of the performances. When I get an edited copy, I will post some clips!

Our Book of Mormon Journey

For the sake of our family history, I need to document a goal we are working on.

Mid-April we decided during family council to read the Book of Mormon one more time as a family before Brandon leaves to college the end of August. This would require reading about two chapters per day. We decided that we would read around dinner time, either during or right after. Dan made a chart which shows where we should be reading each day and included some "free" days, on which we could catch up or take a break if we needed it. We each take turns reading a column. We recognized that Joseph is not going to understand all of what we are reading, so we ask him to be in the room and we stop to explain stories when we can. Later we try to show him the same stories in his little scripture readers. As we read, occasionally Joseph tries to pick out words he knows from the text. More often he crawls around on the floor, colors, or performs Superhero maneuvers.
For better or worse, as a family we do best when we have a time-specific scripture goal. A number of times in the past we have responded to a challenge to read the Book of Mormon by a certain date. Sometimes the challenges have come from the prophet or our bishop and sometimes we have set our own goal. Sometimes we have made big charts to mark off our progress. Sometimes we have had a cool family prize at the end of the goal. At times the little kids have acted out the stories as we read, sometimes we have used study guides to help us understand difficult passages better. It has been a sweet experience to complete the goals and better understand the greatness of the Book of Mormon. The underlying theme running through the times we have been a successful scripture reading family is a very specific, timed goal which we are tracking.

What is much harder for us is remembering to read on a daily basis when we aren't responding to a specific challenge. Maybe it's unrealistic, but it seems to be that we SHOULD be able to do this. It isn't that we don't like to read (most of us) or that we don't value scripture reading. There is just ALWAYS a reason not to read on any particular day. Someone is sick, someone is ornery and refusing to participate, someone is gone, we're tired, it's getting late, American Idol is on TV, someone has homework to do, we just want to talk, someone didn't finish their chores, etc. We have tried different techniques for reading other than setting a time-specific challenge, such as reading scriptures topically (choosing a topic we want to explore and then reading a little bit every night) or reading favorite scripture stories and discussing them. This is always great, but we can't seem to maintain our steam when we read this way. We read faithfully UNTIL there is a reason not to . . .

What I need to record, so that I remember it next time, is that the efforts to read together as a family rarely result in immediate warm and fuzzy feelings. At least that is true for us. I have to have faith that the blessings will come, because this is what a typical scripture reading session sounds like at our house:

Mom or Dad: "Time for scriptures!"

Children (all or some): "Groan, whine, But I have homework!'"

At least 75% of the time one child refuses to read for some reason, often because he or she is in a bad mood. At least 50% of the time someone falls asleep. Many times children argue in between reading their columns of scripture. So far, we have missed reading about two days a week, despite our best efforts. Right now, according to our schedule, we are supposed to be starting Alma. Instead, we just finished off King Noah in Mosiah.

I have always liked this quote by Marion G. Romney:

“I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness”

I don't know why we don't see the fulfillment of these blessings immediately in our home most of the time. I do believe that this promise is fulfilled over the long-term, but it is sometimes hard to see this minute by minute. There is still contention in our home, children are not always submissive, and Dan and I aren't always counseling with love and wisdom. Lately, peacefulness in our home seems to be a great challenge.

I really love the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. Every time I read this inspired book I love it more. Day to day, I don't always see the immediate benefits of the herculean efforts to read together as a family. When I step back and gain more perspective, I can see that there have been and (hopefully) will continue to be seeds planted, testimonies strengthened, lessons learned, relationships strengthened. I try really hard to show my kids how much I love the scriptures, and I know that our family has been blessed by our efforts to read.

It is not just that the Book of Mormon teaches us truth, though it indeed does that. It is not just that the Book of Mormon bears testimony of Christ, though it indeed does that, too. But there is something more. There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the strait and narrow path. The scriptures are called “the words of life” (D&C 84:85), and nowhere is that more true than it is of the Book of Mormon. When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance.
President Ezra Taft Benson

Hangin' with the Girls

Once a year I am lucky to get to spend time with my wonderful sisters and Mom. I cherish this time, and feel privileged to be blessed with relationships with such amazing women.

How nerdy is this? We bought the same dress, different colors, and then modeled it around the condo while Mom took pictures. We thought we were so cool. The pictures and video show a different story . . .

We spent an inordinate amount of time each morning getting ready and talking. I think this was especially fun because it is so different from the way we usually live our lives as moms (get ready in 5 minutes, out the door, never look in the mirror the rest of the day).

This is Kara dancing, which she does a lot. Always with a frankly frightening intense look on her face.
My beautiful Mom.

Other than relaxing, we got pedicures, shopped, watched DVDs, enjoyed sunshine, and ate great food. Most of all, we talked and talked and talked. Ali and I (who shared a room) talked until the wee hours of the morning almost every night. At the end of this trip I felt truly emotionally filled. I look forward to next year's adventure!

30 years ago

Thirty years ago today Mt. St. Helens erupted. I was 9 (almost 10) at the time, the same age as our daughter Aubrey. This morning at breakfast we talked about the eruption and I shared my my memories of that day with the kids. I decided that I should document my memories for our family history.

Remember that all this is from my perspective at the time, as a a not-quite-10-year-old 4th grader.

The adults had been talking about Mt. St. Helens for months as the mountain was showing abnormal signs of activity. I think we in Moses Lake, WA were interested in it, but never thought it would impact us, hundreds of miles away. I had never personally seen this volcano, and it certainly didn't feel real to me.

Sunday morning, May 18th, 1980, I was ready for church early. I walked outside before the rest of the family. I stood on a pile of dirt in our front yard and looked at the strange purple clouds in the sky. Later I learned that these clouds held ash from the eruption.

Part way through Sacrament Meeting someone interrupted the services with the news that Mt. St. Helens had erupted and clouds of ash had traveled to Eastern Washington. When I ran to the foyer and looked outside I realized that it was pitch dark outside and it was only around 12:30 p.m. There was controlled panic everywhere - I remember running into the bathroom to get wet paper towels to put over our faces so that we wouldn't breathe the ash when we walked outside.

It was very eerie - outside it looked like a snowstorm at midnight. But the white stuff wasn't snow and it was the middle of the day. The short drive home from the church house took a very, very long time as the ash messed up the air filters of vehicles. When we finally were home, I remember feeling a mix of fear and excitement.

The coming days and months were challenging. The ash piled high, threatening to collapse roofs and killing vegetation. The day after the eruption my Dad and I rode our bikes a few miles to the grocery store to try to get milk. Many of the shelves at the grocery store had been emptied by nervous customers. No one knew how long our town would be affected by the ash. Unlike a big snowstorm, this greyish-white stuff didn't melt. The novelty of playing in the ash wore off quickly. School was canceled for the rest of the year. This must have been a terrible headache for the adults. From my point of view, I was also disappointed - I liked school, and I had worked hard on a report presentation for Monday, May 19th. Instead, school came to an abrupt end and the town of Moses Lake (and many surrounding towns) spent months and years digging out from the mess.

Funny how my life was impacted by a volcano I had never seen, and now that same volcano is visible outside my bedroom window. It has been interesting to read the reports in the local paper, memories of people who lived in the Vancouver area 30 years ago. The residents of Vancouver at that time could see the volcano explode, but the eruption and ash blew to the east, so they were impacted very little.

A lesson that has always stuck with me from the experience of Mt. St. Helens erupting is this: life as we know it can change in an instant. Sometimes we get warnings ahead of time, and sometimes it takes us by surprise. Afterward, our focus quickly shifts from all the normal busy things we usually spend our time on to the bare essentials, which are family, safety, and finding peace inside to deal with challenging times.

One more interesting lesson I didn't learn until this last year. We were visiting family in Moses Lake and my uncle explained how the ash, which was initially devastating, was a boon for agriculture in the area. It enriched the soil, and over the coming many years the crop yields were better. Isn't that like life? The very thing which is weighing heavily on us, crushing us, stopping our life in its tracks, may someday be what makes our life richer and more abundant.

New haircut and new room

Bailey and I have made great strides in re-doing her bedroom from "little-girl blue" to very electric and teenagery pink and orange. The room is deep pink with an orange accent wall behind the bed. I think the color is great - it reminds me of Bailey's personality. I loved painting something so not-beige. We still need to put the orange bedskirt on the bed and add some embellishments. Bailey is deciding on some favorite quotes and pictures which we will frame and mount on the wall.

I checked Bailey out of school at lunchtime a few days ago and took her to our friend Gina to get her hair cut and styled. So cute!
Joseph took these pictures of the two of us, post-haircut.

Mother's Day

When it comes to Mother's Day, my kids have been well-trained in spoiling me (trained by Dan, who is the master spoiler). Dan was at church for meetings for a few hours after church. When the kids and I arrived home, the kids ordered me upstairs to lay down in bed and read. Brandon, Bailey, and Aubrey brought me lunch on a tray, made me cookies, and left me a bell to ring in case I needed any additional services. I took a nap, read a book, and enjoyed being spoiled.

Joseph was funny. He caught on to the fact that it was a special day for Mom. Whereas the older kids felt like the best way to treat me was to let me have time alone, Joseph had a different idea. As only a five-year-old could do, he walked into the room with piles of toys, which he deposited on my bed. This is what he said,"It is Mama's day, so I will play games with you and you can read me books." And we did. I thought it was funny, sweet, and slightly narcissistic that in his mind what I would most like to do is spend time with him!

Each year I have mothered has been more rewarding and more challenging. This year in particular I have felt ambivalence about whether I am a good enough mother to each of my kids. My own failings seem glaring. Sunday morning I read this quote in the newspaper. I believe it was from an article written by the author Scott Turow.

"It is a sentimental myth that a mother's effect on her children is always good. Her power over their lives is so enormous that any character failings are inevitably magnified, even for the best mothers."

I'm not sure if that makes me feel better, but I do think it is true.

I am grateful for each of my children. They are a tremendous blessing in my life. I am glad for the chance I have to play a role in their lives. I am incredibly grateful for the influence of the Spirit in my life and the goodness of my Savior. I am imperfect, and will remain so despite my best efforts. I know it is the influence of the Spirit and the perfection of the Savior that compensate for my sometimes clumsy efforts to be the mom my kids deserve.

The Birthday Party Bus

Last Thursday my friend Shalee and I planned a fun surprise for our friend Misty's birthday. We had arranged with Misty to go to a birthday lunch. What she didn't know is that Shalee decided to fire up her motorhome for the lunch date. We pulled up in front of Misty's house with the RV engine rumbling like a semi truck. When Misty answered her front door she was shocked! We loaded up all the kids in the motorhome, and the party bus took off across town to go to Chipotle for lunch.

The kids thought riding in the RV was incredibly fun. Especially the fact that there are no seatbelts in a motorhome, so they were free to bounce around. When Joseph first walked into the motorhome he said, "Wow, their car is much more awesome than our car!"

It was a wacky, fun adventure with good friends!