Facebook wisdom

I'm not a huge fan of facebook, for lots of reasons I won't list today. But one of my facebook friends just posted a quote that really struck me, and I want to remember it so I'm going to add it to a post.

You will never have this day with your children again. 

Tomorrow they'll be a little older than they were today. 

This day is a gift. 

Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. 

Pay attention.
Relish the charms of the present. 

Enjoy today;it will be over before you know it. 

Recently I read an article in which the author (a mother of small kids) ranted against older parents who remind her to enjoy the moments with her kids as the time with children will go by ever so quickly. She felt like this advice is insensitive to her feelings as a mother caught in the throes of the exhausting role of caring for young children.

I understood her argument - I remember being at that point and feeling like I would never sleep through the night again and never have more than two minutes to myself again. I thought I would always need to carry a diaper bag with me everywhere, stocked with wipes, diapers, extra clothes, snacks and toys. I thought we would never see the day when a child didn't crawl into bed with us sometime during the night. I couldn't even imagine a day when I wouldn't need to drag a stroller with me or visit the pediatrician regularly to deal with early childhood checkups and illnesses. I also remember feeling so busy with the physical mothering tasks that I had to remind myself to just look my kids in the eyes and enjoy the time I was spending with them.

And they really do grow up. And it really is going by so fast. I don't feel much older than I did 20 years ago, but somehow my kids are growing up so quickly.

It really does feel like they were my babies just the other day. But I haven't carried a diaper bag or hired a babysitter in many years. We no longer own strollers or carseats. We visit the pediatrician infrequently, mostly for well child visits for Joseph. Most nights all kids remain in bed all night (Joseph is the sometimes exception, but that is getting more and more rare). I do have some time to myself and these days it's only early morning Seminary which cuts my sleep short.

It's not that every moment of mothering has been easy or even fun, but I have completely enjoyed the process. I feel lucky that our kids came to us spread over 13 years because I've been able to enjoy each kid individually.

I think these kids are great. I like helping them with their challenges. I really like listening to them, laughing with them, watching them become wonderful young adults.  (I even like the fact that Joseph wouldn't change out of his pj top for this Mother's Day photo shoot. He just pinned a tie to the pj shirt and pulled on his suit coat. That is just so Joseph).

I am very cognizant of the need to enjoy the moments. Brandon is off to college and real life and will never live at home again. We only get Bailey home for two more years before she is off to her own college adventure, and I know she will get increasingly busy these last two years of free education. Aubrey starts high school in a year and is so busy with theater during the school year that we rarely see her in the evenings. And Joseph is halfway through elementary school. Thankfully, he and his buddies are still hanging around the house most days.

I will never have a baby again. Nor a busy toddler or an inquisitive preschooler. I'm precipitously close to the end of elementary school years, but we'll have teenagers many years to come. It will continue to go by quickly. I will enjoy today.